I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Is it because I queefed?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize
