i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
i believe in u and ur pee
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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