I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
