She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Slut skills are useful in every country.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize