i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
