I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
