I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
