Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
