I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
