Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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