Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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