i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I believe in your delicious
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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