her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
