my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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