look no pants
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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