somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
