sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Randomize