Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
