I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
