I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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