i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
