i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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