the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
