I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Randomize
