I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Plan B is the new Plan A
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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