ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
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