This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
