hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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