How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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