can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
