I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
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