I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
