you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I believe in your delicious
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
