there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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