Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I said "one day" and that day is not today
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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