He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
