I threw up into my coffee this morning.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
