I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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