I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize