i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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