Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
