i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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