you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize