Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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