i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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