Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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