Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
