you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
