The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
