It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
