Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
