Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
