they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
