im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
