So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize