I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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