True but thats because hes a fetus.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
If I die, sorry about rent.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
