Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
i drank out of a bidet.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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