This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize