She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
She even gives head with a lisp.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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