I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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