Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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