Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
