btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
