Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
