just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
