it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
dude. I can hear the air.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
