it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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