he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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