I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
