PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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