I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Can i not drive my cunt home
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You are a genius and a whore.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
