We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
