If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
How does one acquire holy water?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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