Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I am midnight drunk by noon
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
How external is "for external use only"?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
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