it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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