I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
