she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
